Diary of a Post-Furlougher

by Martin Boyd

Diary of a Post-Furlougher enter image description here 7.45am. Life used to be simpler. Wallet – check. Mobile – check. Keys… ‘Who’s moved my ke.. got them - Bye!’. But not any longer. Now, I’ve got to remember ‘Mask’. That’s a 25% increase (or is it a 33.3%...never sure) in the list of things to get right in order for my working day to start moving along. And getting back to work after being on furlough is hard enough. It’s a shock to the system y’know.

8.50am. Stuck outside the office door. There are three possibilities I suppose. Either there is something wrong with this keypad. Or, they have changed the number since I was last in. Or, I have somehow forgotten the number. A quick text to my colleague Kerri quickly identifies where the problem lies…and I’m in. (This blog is not the place to go into what the actual issue may have been.)

9.00am – 9.23am. Settling in at my desk. No issues with passwords for my computer as the post-it note I wrote them down on is still attached to the monitor – clever eh? Find half a packet of biscuits in drawer from March – first win of the day!

10.32am. An email from a colleague welcoming me back. Nice. They shall have a reply with at least three emojis. Biscuits finished

11.08am. Email from Sandra, dept head – a full team meeting is arranged for next Thursday! To get everyone up to speed after furlough. By which, I am convinced they mean me. Why oh why didn’t I spend some time following what was going on in the business during furlough? (Although, my garden has never looked so good!) It’s a zoom meeting for some people at their desks and handful of others in a meeting room. It’s an all day meeting and Sandra has put a link in so we can all get lunch. Cool. My order needs to be placed by tomorrow at 5pm but let’s not hang about – this is important. I wonder what’s on offer? The link takes me to a lunch menu. Soup and Sandwich? Potential. Salad Bowl? Hmmm. Pasta? Now, I wonder if I can get Soup and sandwich and Pasta? Oops , nope… need to spend less. Still, I can get a drink and I’ll take a choccy biscuit. Done, and done! And now to Checkout. I’m a desk person for this meeting so…well, look at that, you can put in your floor and desk – that’s cool. Do I have any allergen instructions? Nope, but thanks for asking? And ‘Send’!

11.16am. Another email…I’m getting rushed off my feet here. Ah, it’s just an email confirmation with my lunch order, and all the details. Well, it seems that there is such a thing as a free lunch after all!

*By the way… Just to let you know that the lunch that Thursday was great– the rest of the meeting was a car crash, but lunch was tip top - delivered on time to my desk with my name and details on it. No hanging about in queues which can only be a good thing these days. And my pal Jim, who was in the meeting room, told they all got separate bags for lunch too – no platters of sandwiches for them this time – makes total sense. And Jim’s a bit careful with his food so he had noted his allergen requirements down and it was all sorted for him. ‘Everyone’s a winner, baby!’ as my Gran used to sing to me.

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